Resistance, regret and ... YOLO!

My greatest fear is that I'll die some time in the near future. Not because I'm afraid of death; I'm not one of those. I know it's going to happen, and as far as I'm concerned, afterlife, smafterlife (again, sorry Mom). What terrifies me, though, is that I'll die before I get the opportunity to really do anything with my life.

Now, of course, I have (nearly) raised four beautiful, intelligent, amazing children. Obviously, to say this is an important accomplishment would be an understatement. But, really, that isn't what I'm talking about here.

I want to do something for myself. It sounds selfish, I know, but it isn't. Trust me, it's all about perspective. My 38-year-old perspective is vastly different, and continues to change from day to day. To start, I want to give my inner voice free rein and acknowledge all the things I never realized I'm feeling. I want to renew connections with lost friends, reminisce and revisit past discussions about being young, growing old, love and the meaning of life. I want to spend more time with my family. My children are nearly grown, nearly lost to me. There are many things I still want to do before that time comes. And I have extended family I haven't seen in years. I need their stories, too.

Of course, I want to write. I haven't been writing as of late, and no, this blog doesn't count. I want to write and self-publish my stories. I want to start and grow my own company. I want to travel with my loved ones and collect new experiences. These are things that are important to me. What I'm saying is that what is important to me is now important to me. For the first time in a very long time.

YOLO, then. I fucking hate that expression. It's annoying, and I feel most people use it as an excuse to act like idiots. But still.

Love this, though. Classic The Lonely Island.

YOLO

Since I'm saying all this, I better get my ass busy. Enough with the resistance.

J. L. Dodd

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." -Sydney J. Harris

"Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out". -Oliver Wendell Holmes

"Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake." -Marie Ray

"Why be saddled with this thing called life expectancy? Of what relevance to an individual is such a statistic? Am I to concern myself with an allotment of days I never had and was never promised? Must I check off each day of my life as if I am subtracting from this imaginary hoard? No, on the contrary, I will add each day of my life to my treasure of days lived. And with each day, my treasure will grow, not diminish." -Robert Brault

Links:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/high-octane-women/201205/50-quotes-help-you-live-you-were-dying