RANDOM AF! Starbucks and the impending zombie apocalypse ...

Today when I should have been working, I was thinking about Starbucks. In some cities, like Las Vegas, there are Starbucks locations literally around corners, usually just out of the line of sight of the last one. In fact, Las Vegas is tenth on the list of most Starbucks stores, with 136 stores total, behind Seoul, New York, and of course, Seattle, to name a few. If you think I'm exaggerating, check this out: http://www.starbucks.com/store-locator/search/location/Las%20Vegas%2C%20NV%2C%20USA

Literally, on top of each other.

I was trying to understand why a large corporation would pack them so close together, when it would obviously be more profitable to spread them out so they aren't competing with each other. Is this some kind of really expensive, ridiculous marketing ploy? Are they fucking with our heads, that green and white logo haunting our collective subconscious until we are addicts by association? Or, as my dark half asked, could there be a different reason?

Think about it: if you were an evil genius and you wanted to start a zombie apocalypse (admit it, we've all thought about it at one time or another), what would be the perfect, socially acceptable vehicle to infect millions in one fell swoop of morning addiction? Cafe lattes, mochas, cappuccino ... followed by brains brains brains. Not surprisingly, after a quick Google search, I realized I'm not the first to associate the two, though perhaps the first to assign them a causal relationship. So if you are reading this in the future and intend to go back in time and stop this shit, (James Cole) listen up! Start with Starbucks. Howard Schulz is probably just a pawn in someone else's game of world domination. It might be that suspicious IT guy who fixed my computer's internet last week. And if he happens to be from Seattle, you are definitely in trouble. People, if you don't hear from me again, it's because they are on to me.

You may not know this, but I'm an optimist by nature. What? Optimists aren't necessarily goody two-shoes who can't enjoy dropping the f-bomb. Let's look at the bright side of a Starbucks-fueled zombie apocalypse. Virus-laced lattes would make possible a new round of natural selection. Seriously people, it wouldn't hurt to have a few less humans on the planet. And if you did get infected, maybe being a zombie wouldn't be that bad. Who's to say? Have you ever been a zombie? Don't knock it till you try it.Then again, if you refuse to start your day without a venti vanilla latte, you may already be one.

J. L. Dodd

"Starbucks is spreading like a cancer."- Rupert Everett

"Starbucks represents something beyond a cup of coffee." - Howard Schultz
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/starbucks.html

"Humanity is mind-controlled and only slightly more conscious than your average zombie." - David Icke

“In my world there would be as many public libraries as there are Starbucks.”
― Henry Rollins