RANDOM! Odontophobia

As I grow older I have realized that I have a proclivity to suffer from various psychological disorders. I believe the potential to become a raving lunatic at some point in our lives exists in all of us (happy thoughts!). For me, I'm borderline obsessive compulsive about certain things, for instance, the spoons and bowls my children eat cereal out of each morning have to match. Also, when I'm highlighting something, it needs to be a perfect rectangle, or I may throw it away and start over, despite my guilt over wasting paper. Anyway, I don't think I'm there ... yet. Give me 15 years or so and I may be on medication. 

There is a phobia I can say with certainty that I suffer mildly from, and that is odontophobia, the fear of teeth and/or dental procedures. And its really not the dental procedures that bothers me, as one would assume. No, it's actually the teeth. And not teeth in general, but teeth that have fallen out, or are soon to disengage. 

My children love to show me when they have a loose tooth, how it wiggles and bleeds, and it sickens me. Also, they will keep their teeth when they fall out, which leads to the inevitable: a random tooth on the counter, in a drawer, or more recently, under some papers next to my laptop.

I think this fear was awakened when I watched the movie Don't be Afraid of the Dark. Let's be clear: I hate horror movies. I rarely watch them. Ever since I watched Pet Cemetery in 6th grade and had horrifying dreams for months afterward, I know better. But for some reason my husband wanted to watch it, and although I fell asleep after about 15 minutes, it was long enough to witness that the creatures in the house were twisted, evil little versions of the tooth fairy, and demanded the teeth of children. 

Wherever it originated from, I know one thing: it's getting worse as time goes on. So please, keep your teeth to yourselves people. They are dirty and disgusting and make me think of death, and I don't want to have to touch one ever again.

Jess

“Even if one understands that what one is doing is mad, it is indeed still madness.” 

― Guillermo del Toro, The Fall

Hell Girl

Speaking of bizarre stories with no backstory or explanation ... have you seen Hell Girl? The name and the premise drew me to it, and the imagery and music are fantastic, but I became frustrated at the repetitive storylines and lack of continuity or backstory. Thus, I stopped watching after about 20 episodes, but I shouldn’t have.

Jigoku Shōjo, written by Japanese animator Hiroshi Watanabe, is one of those few anime which are actually adapted into a manga, instead of the other way around. The episodes I watched are self-contained short stories in which someone is harassed and/or tormented by one or more antagonists. The issue escalates until it is unbearable for the character, at which point they access the Hell correspondence website, which only appears for those with significant grudges and only at midnight. This is where Ai Enma, the beautiful young girl with bright red eyes makes her entrance. 

Ai will pull the client into a realm of perpetual twilight (apparently in Hell) to discuss the details of the contract. He or she is given a straw doll with a red string wound around its neck. If the string is pulled, Ai and her companions will immediately ferry the offender to Hell, in dramatic fashion, I might add. However, Ms. Ai doesn’t work for free, people. Once the client's life has ended, they too will go to Hell, and a black crest-shaped mark appears on the client's chest to serve as a reminder of what has been lost. 

I’ll admit, it’s sickly satisfying to see deserving people get theirs over and over again, but what is frustrating about this anime is we want to know more. We want to know how a seemingly sweet little girl, Ai, was cursed with this responsibility. We want to know who her three assistants are and why they do what they do. And who is (figuratively) pulling the strings? It must be Satan himself considering he’s getting two souls with one stone in each case. Someone must be in charge of the website, and I don’t think its Granny (old people hate computers) and it definitely isn’t Ai. She’s too busy bathing in a pond, dressing in her kimono and flying off to exact revenge in a small cart pulled by a flaming Wanyudo. If only I had her life. 

As I was writing this, I was also doing some research. It seems like all the answers are revealed in season 2, so I just need to quit whining and keep watching this unique horror anime. Turns out there are 52 episodes I haven’t seen, which in my little otaku world is a veritable gold mine. There’s also a live action series, which is probably pretty cheesy but might be interesting.

FYI someone put up an actual Hell correspondence website if you are looking to damn someone to Hell, and you don’t even have to wait until midnight for it to appear. It even tells who the last person to receive judgment was and when. It’s pretty interesting even if it’s pretty creepy. So don’t cross me people. I have no soul so I have nothing to lose …

http://jigokutsushin.co.nr/ 

J.L. Dodd

While seeking revenge, dig two graves - one for yourself.
- Douglas Horton

RANDOM! Cats are from outer space ...

I had an interesting conversation the other day. Someone told me that in a certain neighborhood in a certain town at a certain time ... all the cats disappeared. Where I live, you would assume that either a mountain lion or a coyote was to blame. But this particular cat exodus just happened to coincide with the most recent Hale Boppe passing. So the theory was that all the cats hopped on the comet and flew away to another planet. 

Of course we all prefer that explanation. Your cat was killed and eaten by a hungry mountain lion! vs. Your cat took off with E.T.! The choice is obvious. We can choose what we want to believe, and that choice may or may not be based on logic. I imagine we do it often without even realizing it. Its amazing how you can train your brain to live in denial.

Anyway, I liked that theory because 1) picture in your mind 15 cats riding on a comet ... awesome, right? Kind of like Nyan Nyan Cat only exponentially greater and 2) it reminded me of a story by H.P. Lovecraft where cats are able to travel to the dark side of the moon on a nightly basis, can converse with a human who is dreaming and will fight against disgusting white moon beasts.The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath is one of Lovecraft's longest stories and is considered one of his most influential, even though it was published posthumously. The amazing cats of Ultear and Randolph Carter's relationship with them was a literary treat. I was totally thrown by this particular arc of the story, in fact, I went around telling my friends and family about the cats and their secret language and their travels to the moon. 

As is typical of Lovecraft, you are given no background and no explanation; you as a reader are forced to believe and just go with whatever nonsense plot he has created. Reading something like that can be frustrating but can also be freeing if you let go and enjoy the ride. Ever since I started writing for myself, its difficult to read something without judging each and every sentence, which takes away from the experience, let me tell you. I didn't used to think about this crap. Who cares if the POV says something stupid and completely out of character? I used to just keep reading without questioning it, but now it causes a complete disconnect from the story. And I get mad. And I get inspired to write something better, which I guess is a good thing (no promises people; these are simply my aspirations at this point). 

Anyway, Lovecraft has no apologies for his cryptic, hard-to-follow and completely brilliant writing. And that is what makes his stories so unique. 

I'm hearing the Nyan Nyan cat song in my head right now ...

Jess

"Then through that star-specked darkness there did come a normal sound. It rolled from the higher hills, and from all the jagged peaks around it was caught up and echoed in a swelling pandaemoniac chorus. It was the midnight yell of the cat, and Carter knew at last that the old village folk were right when they made low guesses about the cryptical realms which are known only to cats, and to which the elders among cats repair by stealth nocturnally, springing from high housetops. Verily, it is to the moon's dark side that they go to leap and gambol on the hills and converse with ancient shadows, and here amidst that column of foetid things Carter heard their homely, friendly cry, and thought of the steep roofs and warm hearths and little lighted windows of home." - H.P. Lovecraft, The Dream Quest of Unknown Kadath

YA Super Awesome Series

There are a seemingly infinite number of YA paranormal series out there. Many I've had the pleasure to read were painful struggles akin to bloodletting, but on a positive note, here are a few I enjoyed:

The Iron Fey by Julie Kagawa

The cast and the depth of character building is really what makes these stories great. Meghan, Ash, Puck and Grimalkin will keep you entertained through many crazy adventures. The romance between Meghan and Ash builds slowly and uncertainly, which in a genre full of insta-love pairings, I appreciated. The series gets a little played out after the 3rd book, but I highly recommend it if you are a fan of the fey.

The Trylle Trilogy by Amanda Hocking

This trilogy was one of the first series I read after I bought my Kindle. The paranormal species in question are trolls, which is a little weird. It's hard to imagine attractive trolls. But the story is unique, well written, and best of all, has an unexpected and happy ending.The series has apparently been optioned for a movie, with the screenplay in the works. I also enjoyed Amanda's other works, including My Blood Approves.  

The Celestra Series by Addison Moore

The reviews for these books are pretty harsh. The story revolves around warring factions of angels, each unique in their beliefs and abilities, and of course, one girl caught up in the middle of it. I can't tell you why exactly, but I really enjoyed these books. Okay, so the plot is all over the place and the characters can be annoying. The "dun dun dun!" love triangle gets old quickly, especially after it evolves into a love square. But the twists and turns keep you guessing, and I feel sorry for Skyla, even though she's a bitch, a slut, a crybaby and a murderer. Gage is way too good for her, seriously.

More to come. Happy YA reading!

Jess

“Some books are undeservedly forgotten; none are undeservedly remembered.” 
― W.H. Auden, The Dyer's Hand

RANDOM! Fruitcakes ...

You look like a fruitcake. These truly epic words of my brother are echoed as the first five words in my novel, although admittedly it makes no sense there. Still. I won't delete it unless someone makes me. 

What does it mean? It could mean a number of things to a number of people. It can be taken literally, as in, an actual fruitcake, or it could mean a crazy or eccentric person. I don't think I've ever used it that way. I prefer crackpot, but that's just me.

It started because I don't like to be cold. It could be that my inner crazy old lady is making her presence known prematurely because in the winter I wear layers and stay in my pajamas as long as possible. I think of it as a perfectly healthy form of hibernation.Yes, it's cold here in Arizona, relative to the summer anyway. Live here long enough and 50 degrees will feel cold to you too. Point being, when I'm at home in the winter, I wear layered pajamas. As often as possible. 

So at one point last winter, I looked down and realized that I had on colorful, mismatched socks, polka-dot pants, a striped sweater and a plaid shirt. I won't even get into the color scheme, but I can assure you, it involved pinks, purples, browns, blacks and greens. Even I was surprised. How the heck did I get this way? I had to tell someone, so I told my brother. And when he saw me, he was impressed with both my lack awareness and my subconscious wish to resemble a traditional Christmas cake that no one really wants to eat. Or was he calling me crazy? Hmm ... He did have that look in his eyes. Oh, wait, he always has that look. Like he thinks I'm stranger than him. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, my dear brother. We are equally strange and its obviously our parents' fault.

I'm looking forward to being a crazy old lady. You can do whatever the hell you want and nobody judges you beyond the initial judgement. Maybe I did it on purpose. Maybe my amalgamation of colors, fabrics and opposite design was intentional. Could be. Or maybe I'm crazy.

Jess

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” 

― Albert Einstein

Dire story ...

Recently, I had particularly vivid dream. I usually forget my dreams within a few minutes of waking up. This dream, however, made an impression and I've continued to fixate on it, mostly because of the phrase "dire story."

I was being haunted by an onryo, or vengeful spirit. It was a girl's spirit, and she had initially been a friendly ghost, but had quickly turned malevolent for no apparent reason. She appeared everywhere I went, threatening, harassing, and generally scaring the crap out of me, even when I was with other people. In the last bit of the dream, I had learned her "dire story," or the story of her death, and knowing that, I would be able to force her to cross over into hell. I opened a door, and there she was, crouched on the ground and ready to come at me, dark fury in her sunken black eyes. That last sinister image is still seared into my mind. 

When I woke up, I was scared. I don't have many bad dreams, but when I do, they typically involve someone I love getting hurt, not a supernatural event happening to me. Then I was intrigued. I wondered if a dire story was a real thing or not. I got all the way to work that morning and then forgot the word "dire" and couldn't remember it for several days. Finally it came back to me when I wasn't thinking about it and I was able to search it up. I found an interesting game called "Dire Grove" about an abandoned town with a banshee problem, and some kind of series on YouTube called "mai dire story" which translates in Italian to "never tell story." I also found information about the dire wolf, which went extinct about 10,000 years ago, and wasn't really that interesting. It was the same size as a gray wolf is today, but about 25% heavier in mass. 

I'm a little disappointed. I thought it might mean something mystical if it was a real phrase. Like that the collective human consciousness had sent me a message. Or that I seen the sign of Koth during my dreaming and learned something about the afterlife. I guess technically either one of those could be true, and I'll have no way of ever knowing. 

In truth, I figured I had heard of a dire story somewhere else and it had shown up in my dream. But it's actually something original that my brain threw at me, and I think I will continue to develop the idea. How does knowing the circumstances of an onryo's death give you power over it? And how do you invoke that power? TBD ...

Jess

"It was the sign of Koth, that dreamers see fixed above the archway of a certain black tower standing alone in twilight—and Willett did not like what his friend Randolph Carter had said of its powers." ~H.P. Lovecraft; The Case of Charles Dexter Ward.

Yuu Watase

I ran across the works of Yuu Watase toward the beginning of my manga addiction. If you are unfamiliar with shojo manga, its basically really awesome comic books for girls. Tell me then, what self-respecting nerdy girl doesn’t have a manga-based compulsion? For several years several years ago, I spent all my free time either reading manga or watching anime. And for someone who has a family and two jobs, there is no free time. So, I lost a lot of sleep over it. I would be up for hours each night watching episodes of Bleach or looking for different manga to immerse myself in. My obsessive behavior is not something I’m especially proud of now, but in the long run I think it helped me immensely with my writing. And seriously, it could have been worse. I could have been addicted to painkillers or chocolate bars or crack, ... not that there’s anything wrong with that. You crack addicts do your thing.

Anyway, Yuu Watase is a nationally recognized mangaka from Japan who has written over 80 volumes of short stories and series. She usually writes shojo manga, and is known for her beautiful male characters, aka bishonen. Many of her stories have been adapted into anime or even television series. The anime series Fushigi Yugi: A Mysterious Play was the first of her work that I came across. Although it was an older style of character drawing, I was quickly caught up in the unique storyline and fascinating characters. After that, I sought Ms. Watase out. My favorite manga by far that she has written is Absolute Boyfriend. Truthfully, it made me laugh, smile, and cry. It begins with a young girl who is rejected after confessing her love. She later runs into a strange man on the street who offers her the opportunity to purchase the perfect boyfriend. She goes online to make her order, and voila! the perfect boyfriend is delivered to her door the next day. As you can imagine, all kinds of shenanigans ensue, and … well, I don't want to spoil it.

One of her series in particular has influenced the novel I’m currently writing. Ceres, the Celestial Legend, inspired me to write about the beautiful and otherworldly celestial maidens of Japanese myth, specifically tennyo. When the main character Aya transforms into a tennyo, she obtains many supernatural abilities such as flight, teleportation, telepathy, telekinesis, premonition, superhuman speed and more. For this she is relentlessly hunted, eventually captured and studied in a laboratory.  It isn’t a very happy story overall, but the plot is compelling and the romance wonderful in a frustrating, poke-your-own-eyes-out kind of way.

So my fellow otaku, there is hope for your addiction as well, assuming you want it. I still love manga but I don’t let it control me anymore. I need my sleep.

Please support Ms. Watase by purchasing her manga. Yes, it’s much easier to watch the anime or drama online, but you'll be missing out if you take that cowardly route. To fully appreciate her captivating art, it's best to hold it in your own hands.

Jess

“Even though you're not by my side, Night, you will forever be my first man, my Zettai Kareshi.” – Yuu Watase