Review XP The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

I really can't call this a review. It has elements of a review, but it's more of a reflection.

I read The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion in bits and pieces over a period of five months. I lost it for a few weeks, then found it under my bed. And it truly isn't the type of book I usually have any interest in reading (though I'm working on that to include any and all and every damn book). So the fact that I finished it means something. Perhaps it was morbid curiosity that drove me to finish.  Perhaps it was my current fascination with death. Fascination is too strong a word. Interest. Just an interest that seems to be coming up a lot. Or perhaps it was my Goodreads 2017 book challenge.

The narrative was compelling, in that it's non-fiction. The author's husband, with whom she'd spent all of her time with since their marriage (they were both successful authors who worked from home, so they spent nearly every day together) dropped dead at the dinner table. How does one cope with such an experience? Spoiler: one doesn't, not really. Her new reality, though not completely unexpected, was so sudden that she struggled to understand what had happened, even 12 months later.

I haven't had to deal with a close loss yet. My grandfather and my grandmother on opposite sides both passed when I was still young, self-centered and therefore immune to the implications of death, and even now I can only imagine what true grief feels like. Which is probably why this quote spoke to me both as an author and a human being:

"Nor can we know ahead of the fact (and here lies the heart of the difference between grief as we imagine it and grief as it is) the unending absence that follows, the void, the very opposite of meaning, the relentless succession of moments during which we will confront the experience of meaninglessness itself." - Pg. 189

I think we all reach an age where we begin to ask questions. Questions like, "What the fuck is the point of everything?" which can be answered a million different ways. I think at 39, I'm a bit behind in the search for my own truth. Right now I have a million questions and no clear answers. But I think that's a good place to start.

Goodreads: 2/5 Stars

J. L. Dodd

Review XP The Dark Tower Movie

People! For the love of all things good and pure in this world, if you read The Dark Tower books, do not watch this movie. It will cultivate spiraling anger and aggression in your soul that can only be relieved by violence. Some kind of extreme deviance. Alcohol. Sugar. Maybe caffeine. Or sleep.

I can see it now: enraged moviegoer goes on a nap rampage. Given the state of this country, let's stick with that. There's a lot of fucked-up shit going on in this country, so it's no longer funny to joke about out-of-control people doing messed up crap and blaming any random scapegoat.

That said, the movie was terrible. And yes, obviously I am biased. I think part of my problem was unrealistic expectations. I was expecting this movie to cover the first and possibly the second books of the series. I mean, how do you condense seven epic books into a single movie? It's impossible, and yet, they still tried, resulting in a horrid mess of plot lines and seriously underdeveloped characters and ideas.

How do you make this movie without including Susannah or Eddie or Oy?

And what really ticked me off was the differences in Roland's character and motivations. I feel like I don't know this movie Roland. This Roland is some half-assed, watered-down version of my Roland. In fact, I'm not even going to call him Roland any more. I'm going to call him Lenny. He seems like a Lenny. That's how bad it was.

First, and most annoying, there is no way in fucking hell that Roland would deny or make light of being a gunslinger. Roland was a lot of things, and he had plenty of issues, but he was forthright and honest about who and what he was.

Also, Lenny's motivations were different. Lenny only cared about revenge, which made finding and killing Walter his only goal. He didn't care about the tower or the end of all creation, which made him a douche of a hero.

For Roland, reaching the tower is all that he lived for for hundreds, possibly thousands of years, and he'll sacrifice anything and everyone in order to get there. And if that means preserving the beams and saving the world, he'll do it.

Lenny's "love" for Jake doesn't make any sense; it seems to come out of nowhere. Yes, Jake can help Lenny find Walter, but that's it. There is no progression or even reason that Lenny should feel more. I scoffed, yes scoffed, in the movie when Walter tells Jake, "He doesn't love you," or something to that effect. No, he shouldn't love you. If he does, that's just dumb.

Roland, on the other hand, allowed Jake to die in exchange for a palaver with Walter. This weakness torments him for some time, but when he gets Jake back, his affection for the boy grows in increments until he considers him his son.

 Why do they have to say "shine" in the movie instead of "touch"? That one little thing really bothered me. Perhaps because I was already bothered.

I could go on and on, but suffice to say, it was very fucking disappointing. I may honestly consider screenplay writing after watching this movie. I think I could have done a better job.

J. L. Dodd